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THE PINK ELEPHANT FILES / HISTORY ACTUALLY DID THIS

TRUTH IS WEIRDER THAN FICTION.

History has an extraordinary imagination. These true stories are strange enough without embellishment.

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Five stories history really wrote

Actual historical events, carefully sourced. The funny headlines are ours; the historical record gets the final word.

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The Meeting That Went Down the Toilet

1184 · Erfurt, Germany

When nobles gathered for a royal assembly in 1184, the floor gave way. People fell into a latrine pit below; medieval accounts put the death toll around 60, although the exact circumstances and individual causes of death are not certain. A grim reminder to check the floorboards before scheduling a summit.

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Congress Considered Hippo for Dinner

1910 · United States

Louisiana Representative Robert Broussard promoted importing hippopotamuses to American wetlands, both to tackle invasive water hyacinth and to expand the meat supply. Yes, lawmakers genuinely considered hippo ranching. No, the bill never became law.

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The Great Emu War: Birds 1, Machine Guns 0?

1932 · Western Australia

Australian soldiers used Lewis machine guns in a campaign to reduce emus damaging wheat crops. The fast-moving birds made the operation unexpectedly ineffective and the military effort was withdrawn. The “war” nickname is irresistible, but Australia did not formally declare war on emus.

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Operation Mincemeat: The Spy Who Was Already Dead

1943 · World War II

British intelligence dressed a dead man as a fictitious officer, equipped him with forged documents, and put his body off the Spanish coast. The deception helped misdirect German forces ahead of the Allied invasion of Sicily. His identity and life deserve recognition, too, not just the ingenuity of the operation.

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The Timeline Is Playing Tricks on You

1888, 1889 & 1977 · Timeline oddities

Jack the Ripper’s notorious London murders occurred in 1888; Nintendo began making Japanese playing cards in 1889, just one year later. And the original Star Wars hit theaters in May 1977, months before France’s final guillotine execution in September 1977. Sometimes history’s overlap is the strangest part.

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References & Sources

Original reporting, research and reference materials for the files on this page.

  1. The Meeting That Went Down the Toilet — Source · WDR historical program ↗
  2. Congress Considered Hippo for Dinner — Source · Library of Congress ↗
  3. The Great Emu War: Birds 1, Machine Guns 0? — Source · Australian National University research ↗
  4. Operation Mincemeat: The Spy Who Was Already Dead — Source · National WWII Museum ↗
  5. The Timeline Is Playing Tricks on You — Source · Nintendo company history ↗
  6. The Timeline Is Playing Tricks on You — Source · Star Wars official release date ↗
  7. The Timeline Is Playing Tricks on You — Source · Guinness: last guillotine use ↗
  8. The Timeline Is Playing Tricks on You — Source · Britannica: Jack the Ripper ↗